It's been forever since my last blog. One of my New Year's Resolution's is to keep up with it better. It has been hard lately to find the time to blog but I want to make an effort to at least update once a week.
With that said, OH, how things have changed since I last updated. This blog might be a bit lengthy, but I feel it's time to share what AWESOME things God has done in my life (those never have a short explaination).
My life has been filled with tons of ups & downs. About 5 years ago I started making decisions that(little did I know) would end up effecting me for years to come. I was 16 and thought I was 25. I went from being an A/B student, quiet, shy girl at school; to acting out, skipping school and getting involved with the wrong people. I started dating someone who ended up being my first serious relationship. I thought I was so in love. I wanted so bad to have a boyfriend that I was willing to put aside ALL of my beliefs & morals for this one boy. My parents and friends disapproved of the relationship, yet I would go to any length to be with him. I didn't care if I lost any friendships or let my family down. I was in a TOTAL STATE OF REBELLiON. He didn't care if my parents or friends approved either, in fact he would make me feel guilty if I ever let on that I cared that the ones closest to me were shutting me out of their lives because they saw something I couldn't. When you are in a relationship and God is not in it, there's only one other person who can be and that is Satan. The Thief comes to KiLL, STEAL, & DESTROY (John 10:10). & that's exactly what he did. I was cheated on for more than half of the relationship, I was isolated, I was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused, and most of all he tried to kill my soul. I am so blessed that I was brought up in a loving, Christian family that in my darkest hours I knew to call on Jesus. There's no other way to explain what made him quit smothering me with sheets, or what made him quit choking me at 1 minute instead of 2, where if he would have just kept choking me for 60 more seconds I would have been another abuse ViCTiM instead of an abuse SURViVOR, there's no other way to explain what made him let go other than the hand of Jesus. Even after these horrific events, I would still go back to him. The relationship had isolated me so much from everyone that he was all I knew. I ended up getting pregnant in July 2008. I thought it was the end of me. I was so scared and nervous. How was I going to care for a baby? I had no job, solely relied on my boyfriend for EVERYTHING, and had disappointed my family so much and knew this was the ultimate disappointment for them. A baby out of wedlock. They had warned me about this. Abortion was NEVER an option for me but WAS something that my boyfriend threatened. He ended up getting arrested and thankfully, my family allowed me to move back in with them. On April 18, 2009 at 3:02 P.M. Kennedy Nicole Head was born. I had thought that my life was over when I found out I was pregnant, but I was SO wrong. My life began again the day she was born! She put a light in my life & is an angel sent by our LiVING GOD! Part of me still wanted my ex to have that chance to be a part of Kennedy's life. That maybe if I wasn't worth changing for, that she would be. I was wrong. YOU can't change ANYONE. You can only share what you know and what I know is that OUR GOD SAVES. I started attending Church of the Highlands in July 2010. They were doing a series called "Baggage". God really showed out in that series! My life was changed listening to what God was saying to me through Pastor Chris Hodges. I was able to let go of ALL my BAGGAGE during that series. I WAS RENEWED!! I also started attending The Basement which is held at Church of the Highlands. I started having a RELATiONSHiP with God. Rather than seeing Him as being this formal being up in the sky, I have started seeing Him as one of my best friends. He knows EVERYTHiNG about me without me saying a word and loves me no matter what my past is. He has wiped it away and made me NEW. How awesome is that?!
I reconnected with BJ, someone I talked to/dated in high school, when I went to The Basement in August. Little did I know, God had BiG PLANS for us. I didn't want to start a relationship with anyone because I was so fired up for God that I didn't want to have any distractions. BJ turned out to be anything BUT a distraction with my walk with God. He strengthens my relationship with Him and teaches me knew things everyday. He is an AWESOME Daddy to Kennedy and is such an inspiring example of what a Man of God is. I knew he was "the one" about 2 weeks into our relationship while we were sitting in church on a Wednesday night. God has an amazing way of lining things up & His timing is PERFECT. BJ proposed to me this past Wednesday, December 29th, in Kentucky at an event he does the last Wednsday of every month called Holy Fire. I was TOTALLY SCHOCKED! He is my best friend and I am so blessed to have him as my fiance =)
Life still holds many challenges for me but I know that God holds it all in His hands. I am just here to live out my Purpose for Him. With all the challenges, comes even more exciting, HAPPY times! I am so pumped to see what God has in store for BJ, Kennedy, and me!
--Brittany
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