GIVE ME A REVELATION

My life, has led me down the road that's so uncertain

And now I am left alone and I am broken,

Trying to find my way, trying to find the faith that's gone

This time, I know that You are holding all the answers

I'm tired of losing hope and taking chances,

On roads that never seem, to be the ones that bring me home

Give me a revelation, Show me what to do

Cause I've been trying to find my way, I haven't got a clue

Tell me should I stay here, or do I need to move

Give me a revelation

I've got nothing without You

I've got nothing without You

My life has led me down this path that's ever winding

Through every twist and turn I'm always finding,

That I am lost again (I am lost again)

Tell me when this road will ever end

Give me a revelation, Show me what to do

Cause I've been trying to find my way, I haven't got a clue

Tell me should I stay here, or do I need to move

Give me a revelation

I've got nothing without You

I've got nothing without You

I don't know where I can turn

Tell me when will I learn

Won't You show me where I need to go

Oh, let me follow Your lead,

I know that it's the only way that I can get back home

Give me a revelation

LET ME BE THE LAST TO SAY

As far back as he cares to remember,

He used to see his old man lose the temper

And mama's pretty face would catch it all,

On a regular basis the nest would fall.

But he was always safe from dad's rage,

Cause mama sacrificed in his place

Two-dozen years of the blood, sweat, tears,

Avoid the mirror, losing her hair from the fear.

She never left him, stayed inside

He beat her (explicit) up until the day that he died

In fact, the biggest beating was the day that he died

Cause now it's too late for her to make a new life.

She gets to mourn for the touch of a punch,

Won't ever admit that she ain't clutchin it much,

Someday she'll die, it still won't be done

The anger lives on through their son.

Cause he saw, he caught it all

A childhood of watching ma and pa get raw

It's too bad for him, nah, that's half the truth

'Cause you're back with him now and he's smackin you

What happened to you? You don't have a clue.

Did your mama used to suffer accidents too?

I never knew that you would stand for abuse,

I guess I just assumed that you would pack up and move.

Think about when you left him last time,

Said out loud that you would never forgive past crimes,

Sunglasses, so dark, scarf around the neck to cover the choke marks.

And since you gotta justify returnin,

You convinced yourself that "he's just a hurt person."

You wanna blame that cross he bears,

But his pop's not there when he tosses you down stairs.

Let me be the last to say, Please don't stay.

Let me be the last to say, You won't be okay.

Please put your shoes on and step into that warm weather,

Go get yourself a more better forever.

Gotta put it down, you gotta leave it,
And don't ever come back again, you gotta mean it.

Just tear it all apart and build new,

Cause if you don't kill him, he's gonna kill you.

You can't hold hands when they make fists,

And I aint the first to say this.

But let me be the last to say, Please don't stay.

Let me be the last to say, You won't be okay.

Let me be the last to say, Please don't stay.

I MELT in Your +Peace+

All I can say is that I am SO overwhelmed by God's grace and love that He has for me. I have an enormous amount of peace that covers me that I don't think I have ever had in my life (at least not that I can remember). I am BLESSED. I am surrounded by the AMAZiNG works He has done in my life. It's all because of Him that I am who I am today and that I am surrounded by the people that are so significant in my life and who are as on fire for Him as I am. I truly believe God has His hand over my life and things that I didn't understand and certain events that took place in my life before, make PERFECT sense now. Isn't God just AWESOME?! Kennedy went to sleep earlier than usual so I have had more time to myself tonight. Of course, my attention went straight to wedding planning and as I went on different websites I ended up pulling youtube up to look for some worship music for the ceremony. I was listening to Kari Jobe and even though I have heard her song "The More I Seek You" before. Tonight I was paralyzed by it. Here are the lyrics:

The more I seek You, the more I find You

The more I find You, the more I love You.

I wanna sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand,

Lay back against You and breathe, feel Your hearbeat.

This love is so deep, it's more than I can stand.

I melt in your peace, it's overwhelming.

It's so simple but so powerful to me. This song describes exctly how I feel bout my Heavenly Father. The more I get to know Him, the more I see His hand in my life, and the closer I feel to Him. I have developed a relationship with God. I want to be as close to Him as the song describes. It's not about having a God that is full of rules and tells you what you can and can't do (which is how I viewed God before July of last year.) This song is about a personal love relationship with Him. Being able to feel his breaths and his heartbeat. What an awesome feeling that will be the day we can all experience that. Until then, I will sit back in awe of Him. My heart is so full (overwhelmed) by all that He has and is doing in my life.

Thank You, God, for all that You are doing in my life. Thank You for making me an example of what powerful things You can do in someone's life, how You can turn a horrible situation into a testimony to glorify You! I am Your intrusment. Use me to bring more souls to Your Kingdom. Let Your Will be done in my life. In Jesus' name, AMEN.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, that person is a new creation. The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17

It's been forever since my last blog. One of my New Year's Resolution's is to keep up with it better. It has been hard lately to find the time to blog but I want to make an effort to at least update once a week.





With that said, OH, how things have changed since I last updated. This blog might be a bit lengthy, but I feel it's time to share what AWESOME things God has done in my life (those never have a short explaination).





My life has been filled with tons of ups & downs. About 5 years ago I started making decisions that(little did I know) would end up effecting me for years to come. I was 16 and thought I was 25. I went from being an A/B student, quiet, shy girl at school; to acting out, skipping school and getting involved with the wrong people. I started dating someone who ended up being my first serious relationship. I thought I was so in love. I wanted so bad to have a boyfriend that I was willing to put aside ALL of my beliefs & morals for this one boy. My parents and friends disapproved of the relationship, yet I would go to any length to be with him. I didn't care if I lost any friendships or let my family down. I was in a TOTAL STATE OF REBELLiON. He didn't care if my parents or friends approved either, in fact he would make me feel guilty if I ever let on that I cared that the ones closest to me were shutting me out of their lives because they saw something I couldn't. When you are in a relationship and God is not in it, there's only one other person who can be and that is Satan. The Thief comes to KiLL, STEAL, & DESTROY (John 10:10). & that's exactly what he did. I was cheated on for more than half of the relationship, I was isolated, I was physically, emotionally, and sexually abused, and most of all he tried to kill my soul. I am so blessed that I was brought up in a loving, Christian family that in my darkest hours I knew to call on Jesus. There's no other way to explain what made him quit smothering me with sheets, or what made him quit choking me at 1 minute instead of 2, where if he would have just kept choking me for 60 more seconds I would have been another abuse ViCTiM instead of an abuse SURViVOR, there's no other way to explain what made him let go other than the hand of Jesus. Even after these horrific events, I would still go back to him. The relationship had isolated me so much from everyone that he was all I knew. I ended up getting pregnant in July 2008. I thought it was the end of me. I was so scared and nervous. How was I going to care for a baby? I had no job, solely relied on my boyfriend for EVERYTHING, and had disappointed my family so much and knew this was the ultimate disappointment for them. A baby out of wedlock. They had warned me about this. Abortion was NEVER an option for me but WAS something that my boyfriend threatened. He ended up getting arrested and thankfully, my family allowed me to move back in with them. On April 18, 2009 at 3:02 P.M. Kennedy Nicole Head was born. I had thought that my life was over when I found out I was pregnant, but I was SO wrong. My life began again the day she was born! She put a light in my life & is an angel sent by our LiVING GOD! Part of me still wanted my ex to have that chance to be a part of Kennedy's life. That maybe if I wasn't worth changing for, that she would be. I was wrong. YOU can't change ANYONE. You can only share what you know and what I know is that OUR GOD SAVES. I started attending Church of the Highlands in July 2010. They were doing a series called "Baggage". God really showed out in that series! My life was changed listening to what God was saying to me through Pastor Chris Hodges. I was able to let go of ALL my BAGGAGE during that series. I WAS RENEWED!! I also started attending The Basement which is held at Church of the Highlands. I started having a RELATiONSHiP with God. Rather than seeing Him as being this formal being up in the sky, I have started seeing Him as one of my best friends. He knows EVERYTHiNG about me without me saying a word and loves me no matter what my past is. He has wiped it away and made me NEW. How awesome is that?!

I reconnected with BJ, someone I talked to/dated in high school, when I went to The Basement in August. Little did I know, God had BiG PLANS for us. I didn't want to start a relationship with anyone because I was so fired up for God that I didn't want to have any distractions. BJ turned out to be anything BUT a distraction with my walk with God. He strengthens my relationship with Him and teaches me knew things everyday. He is an AWESOME Daddy to Kennedy and is such an inspiring example of what a Man of God is. I knew he was "the one" about 2 weeks into our relationship while we were sitting in church on a Wednesday night. God has an amazing way of lining things up & His timing is PERFECT. BJ proposed to me this past Wednesday, December 29th, in Kentucky at an event he does the last Wednsday of every month called Holy Fire. I was TOTALLY SCHOCKED! He is my best friend and I am so blessed to have him as my fiance =)

Life still holds many challenges for me but I know that God holds it all in His hands. I am just here to live out my Purpose for Him. With all the challenges, comes even more exciting, HAPPY times! I am so pumped to see what God has in store for BJ, Kennedy, and me!

--Brittany

I am not PERFECT, I am just -->FORGiVEN<--

I have been knocked on my knees once again, which has put me in the perfect position to pray. (& that is exactly what i have been doing.) i have to keep reminding myself that God has a plan & His plan is not on our timing. I have made mistakes in my life & am now having to face the consequences to those actions. I allowed someone else to have control over my emotions & my life for years and my relationship with My Savior was deminishing quickly. Now that i have put Him in the forefront, it's easy for me to spot when the enemy is attacking. As soon as i am feeling strong, he strikes. He has striked again this weekend. I am not sure what all i am up against, but what i do know is that with Him by my side, ALL things are possible! It's easy to get discouraged but all i can do is have faith, He has never left my side through everything i have been through & i know He will not leave me now. My daughter is the light of my life. I live first, for God and then, my daughter. She comes before anyone and i will fight for what I feel is best for her. I am at my strongest right now & the enemy has chosen the wrong time to mess with me. I WILL NOT BE SHAKEN BY THIS! I will explain more of what all this post is about later, but i feel that it is too personal to share on the blog just now. Prayers are always appreciated. Pray that God's Will will be done through this tough time in mine, Kennedy's, & my family's life & that He will give us the strength to stand against the enemy & not to grow weak/weary.

All my love,

Brittany

my first post!

hey! just seeing how all this works. i will have to make changes & updates as i go to see what i like. i'm not really sure the direction i am going to go with this blog. i am new to "blogging". i hope at some point for someone to be able to relate to things i have been through. life can be complicated at times (believe me i know) & we all need to know that someone out there is praying us through!!